Monday, 26 May 2014

Patience, Perseverance and Perspiration I

First stop outside Kathmandu: Bandipur. A small, smart hilltop town with picturesque buildings and a sleepy atmosphere, where locals refuse to rent out rooms because it would only cause them trouble with cleaning up and interacting with foreigners. It’s also a place where vehicles are not allowed.

Driving up hairpin bends on a road wide enough for a bus and a skateboard was fun, as it was late afternoon and no traffic. I stopped in front of the main gate of the town and realized that the little flight of steps thoroughly expressed the message that no motorised vehicle would get onto the main street. So I parked and, exhausted and sweaty (very possibly, actually dripping) went in search of a place to sleep. Time seemed to be forced back. People seemed to have emerged from long-forgotten times. The whole place seemed to have somehow come through a black hole out of medieval times. The only thing that gave the place a metaphorical slap in the face were the few tourists grinning stupidly and looking, well, like tourists.



But time is short so I decided I would leave the next day, not before going on a small trek to a remote village in the hills to see the so much advertised rural lifestyle. This is how I spent my morning hours the following day: sweating profusely and walking up and down a narrow path through the dry jungle (yes, I think there is such a thing), Namaste-ing small children passing me on their way to school. I busied myself with chasing insects and trying to capture some impressive images but all I succeeded was amateurish photos with tiny dots close to the centre, the type that need a convincing, complicated explanation: ‘see that little dot right next to the fifth big leaf on the right, yeah, that one that is not entirely focused…? Now that’s the bug I spotted!’ If you ask me, bugs should rule the world. And they probably do, only we’re too ignorant to realize that. But I did get the scare of my life, or, at least, of the last year or so; while walking exactly how I imagine Little Red Riding Hood capering friskily through the forest, something moved quite fast and grasped my attention by the throat: a shiny green snake decided it would be time to move and darted in front of me and into the shrubs without a glance back. I almost had a seizure and stood there like a statue, having trouble breathing. Come to think of it, I would not have moved a muscle even if the rather large snake (easily over a metre) had crawled in my direction. I wish I had taken a photograph but my clumsy immobile self was not capable of holding the camera for the next 30 minutes anyway.

The little village of Ramkot lacked any element of grandeur whatsoever



so I soon returned to Bandipur, all the way looking down on the path for something snakelike. But it was so hot that probably even the snakes went for a siesta.

No siesta for me though; I was on my way to Pokhara, where I would enjoy a couple of lazy days with music (too loud), swimming (too polluted) and a variety of foods (too many), but I’ll skip that for now and turn to the next stretch of my drive: the road towards Jumla. I still don’t quite know where it is (I haven’t got there yet), but I had a vague idea which way I was supposed to go and the first palpable stop on the way was Tansen, yet another small and sleepy village perched on a hilltop. This one, though, came with a bike access so I had no trouble prying all over the place, although at first I was prepared to set my Lonely Planet on fire:

Tansen, 119km south of Pokhara, is far enough off the radar to make a rewarding detour for independent travelers. Perched high above Kali Gandaki River on the road between Butwal and Pokhara, Tansen’s main attraction is both its Newari charm and distinct medieval feel. Lining Tansen’s steep cobblestone streets, which are too steep for cars, are wooden Nerari houses with intricately carved windows, from where the clacking of looms can be heard.

And that’s it. There are some other quite limited annotations but this is pretty much where the information stops. I was still meditating on the ‘too steep for cars’ part when I realized that Tansen is really quite vast and labyrinth-like and I couldn’t find the place I was looking for and my full-hearted question about the homestay went either ignored or completely disregarded. In short, it took me about an hour to find the guesthouse and in the meantime I also found the ‘too steep for cars’ part of the city: I experienced vertigo just by looking at the streets and I’m sure I’d have slipped while walking downwards and panted while climbing them. But I had to drive on them, which sort of looked like a hospital trip in the making. By the end of the hour I was starting to feel like being on an endless rollercoaster ride that’s going nowhere but I was judiciously guided towards the guesthouse by some nice restaurant owners (a place I would grow to love, as it would become the one I favoured).

I couldn’t leave Tansen without seeing Ranighat Durbar, Nepal’s Taj Mahal or so they say and, having the bike practically attached to my back side, I decided to follow Mr Man Mohan’s (the homestay’s owner) broad instructions and drive the 16 or so kilometres to there. It did seem odd that the trek would take 3 to 4 hours to the palace when the road only took, well, Mr Man Mohan did not really give any specifics, although he did say the road would be a dirt road. And I was surprised to find the first kilometres quite asphalted. But then…

Well, that’s the palace. And the road.



And that’s roughly how close I got to it. Let me explain: when you see a flight of steps in front of you, you’re prepared to walk up or down, depending on your position relative to the stairs. When you see a rock wall in front of you, you’re prepared to climb it with your bare hands (or, otherwise, turn around and run away). But when you see a mass of mountain ambiguously, misleadingly, maliciously disguised as a road, you’re sure to be in Nepal, close to Ranighat but not close enough to actually get there. The slopes are at an angle at which you’d sooner build buildings or rocket launchers and, once you passed the first couple and you’re still in one piece, the concept of Russian roulette comes to mind. When you still insist and end up in someone’s back yard (back drop to be precise), you weigh the situation and try to go back…


I managed not to fall down… more than once, which was not so bad, as some fresh bamboo trunks softened my fall. Getting the bike up and running uphill from an impossible position with the help on an elderly, really chatty old lady was the delicate part. I eventually found my way back to Tansen and thoroughly committed myself to getting lost again.

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